Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Ten Reasons I do not Hate X for

Now to make something clear, the title is a bit misleading - this is not about why I like him (of course I don’t like him), I have come across popular and wannabe popular bloggers writing big things about why people hate X. The initial reaction was to ignore it,  and say - ‘X who’? But then social network has the downside that you keep getting posts which you would want to ignore and you finally end up reading it and in one of those moments I thought, we need draw another list to achieve equilibrium. If not me someone else would, but why take a chance. So here we go.

1. I don’t hate X because he got married the very next week he denied rumours about getting married. Grow up kids, why would I ever hate someone for that. Yes, if the girl was supposed to marry me the next day or was my girl friend, I would probably freak out. But what the heck! how does it even matter if somebody not remotely related to me got married to another somebody who is as unrelated to me as the first somebody. And c’mon dude most of us hated him long before his marriage.

2. X is foreign educated and speaks English better than most Malayalis. Appreciated, seriously I mean it. And of course his wife can brag about it. But I am not sure, if you have noticed that there few other Malayalis who actually speak better English than him, a few of them novelists and one if I remember properly won a Man Booker Prize, given for novels published in ENGLISH. So do we hate them too, maybe we should check if Sunanda Pushkar or Pradip Kishen wants to brag about their spouses English skills, then we may start hating ShashiTharoor or Arundhati Roy. PS: I seriously don’t think X’s language skills are anything to brag about.

3. He maintains his physique better than most superstars. Of course, actors with good physique were hated over the centuries, Arnold Schwarzenegger to Hrithik Roshan to Bheeman Reghu all abhorred. Have to say good physique is an actor’s worst liability and gyms should be strictly avoided. And if being tall and handsome is what an actor had to be Dino Morea and Upen Patel are the best ones around.

4. He gives straight forward answers to all questions asked and is more knowledgeable than most other actors. X is far behind in the politically incorrect scale when compared to Jagathy Sreekumar and Sreenivasan, and most of the time they get applauded for that. And how do you measure the knowledge from an interview, as far as the interviews I have seen, I am yet to see a genius in X and once or twice even felt he is trying to show off his knowledge, which is no reason to hate him, most of us want to look intelligent on TV.

5. He lodged a complaint against someone who made a fake news report of his death and sued someone who posted his movie on internet. People hated him long before, even the fake news was not about how people fondly remembered him. And not the first time that someone has sued against piracy and of course there is no reason to hate someone for claiming back his property, if I am right the whole film fraternity is against piracy and most producers lodge complaints against them.

6. People hate X because their girlfriends/wives drool over him. What a bloody sexist generalisation. Here is some rocket science for you, most of the girls I know, at least the more sensible ones hate X and most of them as far as I know do not have girlfriends or wives. Strange isn’t it or is it that you were just foolish. And many single guys also hate him, I don’t think they are jealous of a certain journalist, huh!!!!

7. X spoke of the books he read in an interview. It is not the first time someone spoke of a book he read in an interview, but none of them fumbled when asked the details of the books he read. Again ignorance is a pardonable offense and we already forgave him for trying to look intelligent on TV (refer point no: 4).

8. X is not yet 30, even after 10 years in the industry. We will ignore the fact that the 10 years was not exactly glorious most of his fans still call him a new comer when the question of his accomplishment in the 10 years crops up. Considering that Mohanlal came into movies in 1978 with Thiranottam, which was a production he was involved in and not because his father was in the film industry and considering 10 years from then we end up 1988 when he was 28 which if my math is right, is less than 30. Now considering Manjil Virinja Pookal in 1980 to be Mohanlal’s debut, which he got a role after a talent search and not because his mom was also once in the industry and calculating 10 years from then we would come to 1990 when he was 30. And I wouldn’t dare to compare the first ten years of X’s and Mohanlal’s career graph in terms of the quality of their performance. I think we have a clear winner here, and applying the X-junkie’s logic Mohalal should be hated more *TADA*. And just to make a point clear, the stereotype of ‘Malayali being jealous of the success of other Malayalis’ is grossly overstated.

9. He did not stop acting considering the abuse he received on social media. Seriously dude,What is your point? That is no reason to hate anyone, is it? And most of the haters want him to continue acting, the unintentional fun he provides is too much to let go off that easily. X Whatever you do please do not stop acting. We would seriously hate you, if you did that.

10. X criticised aging actors and youngsters alike which movie critiques who download movies from torrents could not digest because they are jealous and retarded. First of all whoever came up with this disgusting argument is retarded. And for X, he is just being insecure, after 10 years in film industry and you have more people hating and being indifferent to you than you have fans He has the right to be insecure and we wouldn’t  hate him for that, that would be mean won’t it be .

Special Thanks to Jithin Jacob, Rahul Raghavan, Kiran PR, Vinaya Raghavan for the inputs and support compiling the post Cheers 

Friday, 30 September 2011

വിശുദ്ധ ടോണി കുരിശ്ശിങ്കൽ: മദ്യപാനികളുടെ കൺകണ്ട പുണ്യാളൻ

സർവലോക കുടിയന്മാർക്കായി ഭൂമിയിൽ അവതരിച്ച വിശുദ്ധ ടോണികുട്ടന്റെ നാമം വഴ്ത്തപ്പെടുമാറാകട്ടെ.ഇഷ്ട് ബ്രാണ്ട് ലബ്ധിക്കും മദ്യതിനു ലോകാവസാനം വരെ പഞ്ഞമില്ലാതിരിക്കാനും താഴെ കണുന്ന പ്രാർഥന ദിവസം മൂന്നു പെഗിനു ശേഷം 8 പ്രാവശ്യം ഉരുവിടുക 

വിശുദ്ധ ടോണി കുട്ടനോടുള്ള നൊവേന

മമ്മൂട്ടിയുടെ സ്നേഹിതനും,വിശിഷ്ട്നുമായ വിശുദ്ധ ടോണി കുട്ടാ,കഷ്ടപെട്ടു വാളു വെക്കുന്ന എനിക്കു വേണ്ടി അപെക്ഷിക്കേണമേ
യാതൊരു ഷാപ്പും തുറക്കാതെ വരുന്ന സന്ദർഭത്തില്ലും മദ്യം കിട്ടാനും മിലിട്ടറിക്കാരെ കണ്ടുപിടിക്കാനുമുള്ള സഹായം ചെയ്യുന്നതിനു അങ്ങെക്കു വിശേഷവിധിയായി കിട്ടിയിരിക്കുന്ന അനുഗ്രഹത്തെ അങ്ങു ഉപയോഗിക്കേണമേ.ഞങ്ങൾക്ക് എല്ലാ ബ്രാണ്ടുകളും വിശേഷ്യാ (ഇവിടെ പ്രത്യേകം ആവശ്യമുള്ള ബ്രാണ്ട് പറയുക )
ഭാഗ്യപ്പെട്ട ടോണിക്കുട്ടാ അങ്ങയുടെ അനുഗ്രഹത്തെ എല്ലാ ബാറിലും ഓർക്കുമെന്നും അങ്ങേ സ്തുതികളെ ബിവറേജ് തോറും അറിയിക്കുമെന്നും ഞങ്ങൾ വഗ്ദാനം ചെയ്യുന്നു.

എല്ലാവർക്കും വളരെ പരിചിതമായ ടോണിക്കുട്ടൻ സ്തുതി

 ഭക്തിഗാനം പാടിയ ടീ ടീ നാടാർക്കു പിന്നീട് മദ്യത്തെ പറ്റിയോർത്ത് വിഷമിക്കെണ്ട ആവശ്യം വന്നിട്ടില്ല അഥവ വിഷമിക്കാനുള്ള ബോധം ഉണ്ടായിട്ടില്ല.ഈ ഗാനം പാടാതിരുന്ന മിലിട്ടറി ആയ്യപ്പൻ നായർ വ്യാജമദ്യം കഴിച്ചു കണ്ണ് പോയി.

വിശുദ്ധ ടോണി കുട്ടൻ പരമ ഭക്തനായ പാമ്പ് ചാക്കോയോടൊപ്പം

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

I am a Malayali

1.I am not a Mallu I am a Malayali
2.Shakeela is not from my state
3.Sreesanth is from my state,but I hate him.
4.My mother tongue is not Tamil.
5.I may like Rajnikanth or Shah Rukh Khan.....but I always prefer Mohanlal
6.I love cricket...but I love football more
7.I am an Indian....yes Sachin is God.....
8.All my uncles are not in Dubai...
9.I am not always a Nair
10.I am an alcoholic,unless I am gay impotent or just plainly scared of mom.
11.I may or may not be Marxist,but essentially a socialist
12.I may not laugh at your joke...no offenses..blame it on Jagathy Sreekumar..I have already heard them.
13.You may not laugh at my joke...no offenses...blame it on Sreenivasan...you would not understand.
14.I am a non vegetarian.....and Yes I eat beef
15.If you find me and another malayali shouting at each other animatedly at the top of our voices calling each other names...never bother we are just having a healthy discussion on Mammootty and Mohanlal.
16.When I was a student....I never bunked...we just called a strike...
17.Yes I use a lungi....and play football wearing it.....now you can't beat that.
18.I don't understand Kadhakali.......
19.I don't like you much,I may look down upon you...can't help it....that is how we are made....
20.When you are talking to me....never mention Poland....again blame it on Sreenivasan..you wouldn't understand.