Wednesday 9 March 2011

I am a Malayali



















1.I am not a Mallu I am a Malayali
2.Shakeela is not from my state
3.Sreesanth is from my state,but I hate him.
4.My mother tongue is not Tamil.
5.I may like Rajnikanth or Shah Rukh Khan.....but I always prefer Mohanlal
6.I love cricket...but I love football more
7.I am an Indian....yes Sachin is God.....
8.All my uncles are not in Dubai...
9.I am not always a Nair
10.I am an alcoholic,unless I am gay impotent or just plainly scared of mom.
11.I may or may not be Marxist,but essentially a socialist
12.I may not laugh at your joke...no offenses..blame it on Jagathy Sreekumar..I have already heard them.
13.You may not laugh at my joke...no offenses...blame it on Sreenivasan...you would not understand.
14.I am a non vegetarian.....and Yes I eat beef
15.If you find me and another malayali shouting at each other animatedly at the top of our voices calling each other names...never bother we are just having a healthy discussion on Mammootty and Mohanlal.
16.When I was a student....I never bunked...we just called a strike...
17.Yes I use a lungi....and play football wearing it.....now you can't beat that.
18.I don't understand Kadhakali.......
19.I don't like you much,I may look down upon you...can't help it....that is how we are made....
20.When you are talking to me....never mention Poland....again blame it on Sreenivasan..you wouldn't understand.

104 comments:

Magesh Kumar said...

too good macha...

Adheesh L P said...

It is a good one, machu

Ranju said...

12,13 n 17!!! Awesome man :D typical malayalli :D

Unknown said...

kewl blog-aei......

was very much keen 2 read de next line while i read each line

R Niranjan Das said...

That was mind blowing, right from the heart of a MALAYALI.

www.rajniranjandas.blogspot.com

steinslavinsky said...

its really good, post it somewher...malayalikale kurichuellarum onnu ariyatte

shilpa said...

Its awesome...though i find some of ur jokes unbearable, this one is cool...well said.

Anonymous said...

Awesome Dude! Respect.
(I'd prefer Mammootty, though)

balu said...

Quite Refreshing

the devil's pen said...

Thank you Guys...:)

Shilpa,even find my jokes unbearable.. ;)

Unknown said...

hats off dude

Praveen said...

Just amazing! Characteristics are well demonstrated!!

Rohith said...

Awesome dude...

shan said...

hats off indeed !!

Unknown said...

Great one da...did it all come from your own grey cells???

Nikhil said...

coconut related question & answer is missing

Gastro Mallu said...

good one mate..... A really refreshing piece of work.... Keep em coming bro

Unknown said...

:)
coool..

Manu said...

too good. loved it:)

Prashikumar said...

wow..wow..wow...
superb...loved reading it...wowowowow :D

Sijith said...

Good!!!
one addition to the 9th point:
"9.I am not always a Nair"
And not all the Nairs' own a teashop :)

Deepu said...

kalakki taa..

Abhilash said...

sambhavam kalakkeettundttaaa!! :) :)

btw, malayali ennu muthalaa "alcoholic" aayathu? nammal love alcohol.. but, alcoholic aayi de-addiction cheyyendi vanna malayaalikal viralam..

prageesh said...

Ya its nice reading you decode the malayali..as some one who has been roaming in Bihar,Orissa,Kolkata & Del i could smell sense in your identity setting. The portion of beef & drink are awesome. We Keralites are more communist than the WB Communists because we don't have that mental blockade to have beef..it is a political menu yar..dieting in communism is what i am interested about..

vazhipokkan said...

Kidilan!!!!

Unknown said...

malayali kalu tendi kallu....
salim kumar

ജോര്‍ജ്കുട്ടി ആലപ്പുഴ said...

Super machaa super..

salu said...

that is ultimate.
klalakki

Balachandran V said...

Its been a long time since I really enjoyed a blog post! It deserves to be published in the front of page of all Malayalam newspapers!

First time here, you made me follow you.

Sujith's comment on Nair teashop (Kaapi klub, as I remember from my young days), Nikhil's point on coconuts are worth adding. And you are already incurring the wrath of Mammootty fans! And I agree with the guy who objected on 'alcoholic' Malayali. A friend of mine used to say that there are two kinds of alcohol consumers - 'Madyapani' and 'Madya-asakthan'. We simply belong to the former!

Enjoyed your post thoroughly! :-D

the devil's pen said...

No offenses to Mammootty...just that I prefer Mohanlal a tad better....:)

പിറ്റേട്ടന്‍ said...

kidilam.. u are a puli...
hats off to you man..

Samal Cheriyil said...

Good one buddy.. please add some more..

1)I don't always use coconut oil..
2)We don't travel in boats.
3)I never had "Kallu" or "Charayam" in my whole life..

Durga Nandan said...

God! Awesome!

Arun George said...

Classic buddy... :)
Respect..

Fasila Sharif said...

Hi, being a Malayali, loved this one.. one thing to add

1) I use Coconut oil because 'Keralam' doesnt mean 'The land of Sunflower trees'

വ്യാളി... said...

adipoli... :)

വ്യാളി... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nimitha said...

@ 19: hehe good one :D

prasoonpa said...

Athanu mone Sheriyaya Malayali....
Njanum oru Malayali.....

prasoonpa said...

Athanu mone Sheriyaya Malayali.....
Njanum oru Malayaliya

Phewww said...

haha...this one is really coolll... :D

Fr. John said...

da gedii
nee oru samabavam thanyadaa
samathichuda mone

josewebs said...

yeah... tats wat a keralite is. proud to be a malayalie...

Unknown said...

nice work anna !

I liked the 16th one the most :)

Kabhi apne college mai bhi kara do yaar strike ...

Yours lovingly,
Tambi :P

Balagopal P aka Balu said...

Buddy.. This is awesome...

Unknown said...

Athu Kalakki Machaaneee....

Luke said...

AWESMEEEEEEEEe !!!

Sathiya S said...

Good one. Anything about beard?

ഹാഫ് കള്ളന്‍||Halfkallan said...

Its Good ... refreshing ...But I must say. I got similar thing as fwded email 1 year back .. instead of uncle unGle and for dubai gElf !

MT said...

he he he!

point 9 disagreed :D
I guess all here in gelf

RR said...

Reg Malayali being 'alcoholic', I remember this long back - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUHLqzSAC5U . I dont know 'others' can be blamed if they read 'newsreports' quoting it (in/out of context) :D

Vineeth said...

One thing to add

1)I do like beef and yes i have had beef and porotta for breakfast.

महेन said...

Gud ones

Shijad Salim said...

Hats off for the author.

H A R I said...

Color ayittundalloo gadiyee !!!

Ron said...

EPIC ! ^^

dreamweaver said...

super frd

vinoop said...

kollam sare....

rakesh said...

that was awesome...........

Unknown said...

hahahaha...... nice ..

AGK said...

awesome....

http://anilgkurian.blogspot.com/

രജിത്ത് രവി said...

good one

Dr. K.T. ASHIQUE said...

"soooooooooooooopar"

how well can i say its a nice write up !!

naz said...

Here we go!
Ur absolutely right!

Unknown said...

ha ha ha nice nice!!!!!!!

Arun George said...

Really good one man..

Unknown said...

kalakki!!

dhanisha said...

Boss..
I donno , but malayalis make the BEST friends.
They are really good and cultured....
Most of the time I find them helpin...

thundercloud44 said...

WOW!!!!!damn gud

Unknown said...

true!! :D

നിങ്ങളിലൊരാൾ said...

7.I am an Indian....yes Sachin NOT a God.....

Jidhu Jose said...

liked it

Tomz said...

ha ha

Ansar Alpy said...

nee thudakathile polichadukki alo,

സുഗീഷ്. ജി|Sugeesh.G said...

KIDU...... Malayali always Malayali :)

മനോജ് കുമാർ വട്ടക്കാട്ട് said...

you said it :)

Suraj said...

- I may not laugh at your joke…no offenses..blame it on Jagathy Sreekumar..I have already heard them.

- You may not laugh at my joke…no offenses…blame it on Sreenivasan…you would not understand.

ഇതിനൊരു തൊഴൽ അണ്ണാ !

LOGICAL PARADOX said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LOGICAL PARADOX said...

vedikkettu.....ugran!

അനൂപ്‌ said...

Salutes

ദീപുപ്രദീപ്‌ said...

great!!
each words have millions of meanings to convey.
u said it right.
handsoff buddy

nikhimenon said...

good one..yu can be the next chronic writer!

Jayesh/ജയേഷ് said...

good one dear..keep it up

Rajeev said...

KIDILAM,,,

Unknown said...

Such a simple words however its very loud clear.

what you said is what i say in my mind when some one asks this kind of question.

well said and congrats

ഗുണ്ടൂസ് said...

നന്നായിട്ടുണ്ട്..

Unknown said...

SUPERB!! Don't really have words to appreciate. Someone who has been outside Kerala at least for an year can enjoy and feel it more than how others do.

alan.idea said...

kidilan ashaneyyy...

Unknown said...

കലിപ്പ് ...കിടിലനായിട്ടുണ്ട് മാഷേ

മഴവില്ലും മയില്‍‌പീലിയും said...

:) പറഞ്ഞിരിക്കുന്നതില്‍ 90% ഒരു ടിപ്പിക്കല്‍ മലയാളിയുടെ മനസ്സാണ്!! ഒരുപാടെഴുതു.റൂര്‍ക്കി.ഐ.ഐ.ടിയില്‍ പഠിച്ചിരുന്ന സമയത്ത് എന്നും ഷക്കീല മലയാളി അല്ല എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞായിരിക്കണം ഞാന്‍ എന്റെ കൂടുതല്‍ സമയം വേസ്റ്റ് ആക്കിയത്

Anonymous said...

nice post... keep it up ..!!
santhoshjoeboy.blogspot.com

raji said...

GOOD ONE!!!

Suja said...

You are great with words..:) its awesome....:)

Arya said...

Dost u forgot something that I observed while I was with my wife who is from Kerala (I am Maharashtrian)-1.u can find water in different colours in Kerala which is healthy for our digestion.
2.We prefer banana leaf rather plastic plates.
3.Coffee is always better than tea
-Abhi

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

The post is quintessential inferiority complex coupled with a perpetual identity crisis....grow up...the world is so big.....There are lot of ways to be assertive...But being ethnocentric should be the last....or not even the last.....

bijin said...

Super observation... And made it in superb words..

Devi . said...

100th comment - Josappa..... :D :D this one's one of its kind...but, i still hate you :P

Jikkumon - Thattukadablog.com said...

അക്രമമായിട്ടുണ്ട് മച്ചൂ :-)))

Saveesh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Saveesh said...

thakarthu kalanju bhai.. too good.. i heard this in youtube.. who ever wrote this is true only..

jd said...

kalakkeettundutto

David said...

Great article!!
More about this theme:
alcoholism research paper

Ravi John said...

very well written. Can relate to this very much.

Here is an interesting link

http://www.behance.net/gallery/The-Malayalee-Alphabet/9958061